The Fosters Ad

I don't have a kangaroo for a pet

I don't wrestle with crocodiles

And I don't wear a cork hat

I fight wars

But never start wars

I would rather make peace

I can wear my country's flag with pride

I am a rock

I am the island continent

My brothers are the Smiths, the Wilson's, the Santerellis, the De Costis,

The Wong's and the Jagamarras

I play football without a helmet

I like beetroot on my hamburger

I ride in the front seat of the taxi

I believe it's a prawn not a shrimp

I believe the world is round and down under is on top

I believe Australia is the best address on Earth

And Australians brew the best beer.

The Real Aussie Ad

I ate my pet Kangaroo

I am shit scared of crocodiles

And I wear a baseball cap

I love star wars

And the wookie is my favorite

I would rather get pissed

And watch someone else carry the country's flag with pride

I like to rock

To Billy Ocean

I am blind to my incompetence

My brothers are the Smith's the Wilson's, the Wogs, the Lebs,

The Chinks and the Abo's

I watch football with a tinnie

I take the beetroot off my hamburgers and throw Macca's pickles on windows

I do runners from taxis

I believe the world is flat

And Australia is fucking miles away from anywhere

I believe Australia has the best address on earth

And Australians brew the best beer on earth

And that's why we never touch Fosters.....