Funny Stuff - Animal Funnies - Bovine Capitalism ====================================================================== TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: * You have two cows. * You sell one and buy a bull. * Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. * You sell them and retire on the income. AMERICAN CAPITALISM (or Enro-capitalism): * You have two cows. * You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. * The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. * The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: * You have two cows. * You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. * You are surprised when the cow drops dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION: * You have two cows. * You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: * You have two cows. * You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk. * You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION: * You have two cows. * You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A BRITISH CORPORATION: * You have two cows. * Both are mad. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: * You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. * You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: * You have two cows. * You count them and learn you have five cows. * You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. * You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. * You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION: * You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. * You charge others for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION: * You have two cows. * You have 300 people milking them. * You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION: * You have two cows. * That one on the left is kinda cute... Navigation ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Prev page: The Birds (Bird-Jumping.txt) Next page: A Confiscated Ferret (Confiscated-Ferret.txt) Menu page: Animal Funnies Sub - Menu (Mainmenu.txt) Home page: Back to Funny Stuff Central (../Mainmenu.txt) Last Modified ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Saturday 21 May, 2005 @ 17:26:43:515 EST Metadata ---------------------------------------------------------------------- DC.Title: Funny Stuff - Animal Funnies - Bovine Capitalism DC.Creator: Starweb Document Generator V2.6 DC.Subject: Humour DC.Description: A collection of humour pages collected and submitted from the internet. DC.Publisher: Lukas Tan DC.Contributor: DC.Date: 2005-05-21 DC.Type: Animal Funnies DC.Format: text/html DC.Identifier: C:\Documents and Settings\Lukas\My Documents\Homepage\Humour\Animal\Bovine-Capitalism.txt DC.Source: Bovine-Capitalism.swx DC.Language: en DC.Relation: txt.swt DC.Coverage: Global DC.Rights: Under Australian law, copyright of this document falls with it's publisher (Lukas Tan). However, all humour content is considered to have open copyright.