Please fill in the following to the best of your ability

Name:

Age:

Real Age:

How would you best describe yourself?

( ) An energetic self-starter

( ) A team player

( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet

Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your tits?

( )Yes ( )No

Would it bother you to be the target of unrelenting hatred?

( )Yes ( )No

"I am willing to trade sexual favours for a career in the music industry."

( )Yes ( )No

How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke bar? _____

Does nudity bother you? If so, give three excuses for your portfolio.

( )Yes ( )No

Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of individual free will in light of the deterministic theories of neurochemical medicine and modern behavioralist psychology. Just kidding!! Seriously, do you like leather mini-skirts?

( )Yes ( )No

Are you deceptively attractive in coloured or stroboscopic light?

( )Yes ( )No

Choose an appropriate nickname: Sexy, Nasty, Sweetie, Syphilis, Lardy, Sickly, Sporty, Slappy, Posher

Choose an appropriate image:

( ) Cute, blonde, appeals to paedophiles

( ) Tub of lard

( ) Bloke. In a tracksuit.

( ) Vacant stare, no discernible brain activity

( ) Terrifying to small children and old men

( ) All of the above

Do you promise to make one album and then go away forever?

( )Yes ( )No

If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90 kilometers, and 75 kilometers an hour, respectively, how would you look in a bikini? ____________________

If required as part of your contract, would you be willing to help alleviate Prince Charles's loneliness?

( )Yes ( )No

In space provided, tell us why you want, why you really, really, want this job.