What's the difference between Win95 and a virus?

A virus does something.

How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

472, one to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle.....

How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

"We've formed a task force to study the problem and why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we, as supervisors, can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder."

How many tech support people does it take to change a light bulb?

"We have an exact copy of the light bulb here and it seems to be working fine.Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay, now exactly how dark is it? Okay, there could be four or five things wrong - have you tried the switch?

How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, two to hold the ladder and one to screw the bulb into the tap.

How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure that Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, Bill Gates will just redefine MSDarkness(TM) as the new industry standard.

How many Apple employees does it take to change a light bulb?

7, one to change the bulb and six to design the T - Shirt.

How many Apple programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, the light bulb will be obselete in six months anyway.

How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?

We just noticed that it was dark, we don't actually fix the problem.

How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?

"The light bulb works fine on the system in my office."

How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

"You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message."

Why does an Apple mouse only have one button?

Because Microsoft had already trademarked Left Mouse Button(TM).

What's the difference between a Macintosh and a calculator.

A disk drive and $2500.00

What's the difference between a Mac and a toaster?

The slot on the Mac isn't big enough, You can fit two slices into a toaster.

"It says insert disk three but there's no room under the second one."

Why shouldn't you use a Mac for a doorstop?

Have you ever heard of a foolproof doorstop?

Try this.....Windows 95 Credits.

To run a hidden program which shows the credits for Windows 95, do the following:

On the desktop, click the right mouse button once to get the context menu up.

Click on "new", "folder".

Name this folder "and now, the moment you've all been waiting for".

Rename the folder to "we proudly present for your viewing pleasure".

Rename it again to "The Microsoft Windows 95 Product Team!"

Double click on this folder.

This will run the credits animation. Look out for the names of the eight poor souls under "Stability and Performance". They must have drunk a hell of a lot of coffee.

Notes:

The folder names must be typed in exactly as shown above, including case, spacing and punctuation.

This animation will not work once the computer has been reset, it will load the window for it when you click on the folder but it will not run (a bug?).