Things women just don't say.....

• Do you think this dress makes me look too slim.
• You take me out too much, can't we just stay in.
• A fake one will do.
• You look stressed out, let me give you a blowjob.
• Have a night out with your mates, you deserve it.
• That Pamela Anderson has a lovely body.
• My mother is a real old bitch.
• No, No, you buy me too much already.
• Give it to me hard up the arse, big boy; you know I love it.
• What headache?
• Put your money away, let me buy the round.
• You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
• The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
• While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
• Bar food again?? Kick ass!!
• I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
• I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends. Tell me more.
• Let's just leave the toilet seat up all the time; then you won't have to mess with it anymore.
• It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.
• I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.
• I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya big silly!