Why dogs are better than women.....

• Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
• Dogs understand that you are their master.
• Dogs love it when your friends come over.
• Dogs think you sing great.
• Dogs understand that farts are funny.
• Dogs are excited by rough play.
• Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
• Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
• Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
• Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
• Dogs have ten breasts.
• Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
• Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
• Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
• Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
• Dogs don't shop.
• Dogs don't want to know about every other pet you've had.
• Dogs don't cry.
• Dogs get excited when you take out the leash and choker chains.
• Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
• Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
• Dogs seldom outlive you.
• A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
• A dog's parents never visit.
• A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
• Dogs like it when you leave the toilet seat up.
• It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house
• You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
• The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
• Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
• Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late - the later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
• Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
• If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
• Dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
• Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
• Dog's parents never visit.
• Dogs love long car trips.
• Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
• When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
• Dogs like beer.
• Dogs don't hate their bodies.
• No dog ever bought a Kenny G album.
• No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
• Dogs never criticize.
• Dogs never expect gifts.
• Dogs don't worry about germs.
• Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
• Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
• Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
• Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
• Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
• Dogs never want foot-rubs.
• Dogs can't talk.
• Dogs aren't catty.