Funny Stuff - Female Funnies - Yo Momma..... ====================================================================== + Yo momma so fat you have ta roll over twice to get off her... + Yo momma so fat, she wore a X t-shirt, and a helicopter landed on her + Yo momma so skinny, she hang glides with a Dorito + Yo momma so stupid, she thinks hamburger helper comes with another person + Yo momma so stupid, she thinks menopause is a button + Yo momma aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back! + Yo momma arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. + Yo momma breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck. + Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. + Yo momma feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! + Yo momma got a bald head with a part and sideburns. + Yo momma got a metal afro with rusty sideburns. + Yo momma got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it. + Yo momma got a wooden leg with branches. + Yo momma got a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!! + Yo momma got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger! + Yo momma got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail. + Yo momma got three fingers and a banjo. + Yo momma got two wooden legs and one is one backward. + Yo momma gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo. + Yo momma hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. + Yo momma hair so short she curls it with rice. + Yo momma hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches. + Yo momma has 10 fingers - all on the same hand. + Yo momma has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses. + Yo momma has a 'fro with warning lights. + Yo momma has a glass eye with a fish in it. + Yo momma has a short arm and can't applaude. + Yo momma has a short leg and walks in circles. + Yo momma has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back. + Yo momma has an afro with a chin strap. + Yo momma has green hair and thinks she's a tree. + Yo momma has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying. + Yo momma has one hand and a Clapper. + Yo momma has one leg and a bicycle. + Yo momma has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it. + Yo momma head so big it shows up on radar. + Yo momma head so big she has to step into her shirts. + Yo momma head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow. + Yo momma head so small that she got her ear pierced and died. + Yo momma hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. + Yo momma house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies! + Yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside. + Yo momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza. + Yo momma house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it. + Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind. + Yo momma in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more." + Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9. + Yo momma like Domino's pizza - Something for nothing + Yo momma like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!" + Yo momma like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on! + Yo momma like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!" + Yo momma like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter. + Yo momma like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow. + Yo momma like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride! + Yo momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long. + Yo momma like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn! + Yo momma like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one! + Yo momma like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw! + Yo momma like a refrigerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her! + Yo momma like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded. + Yo momma like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up! + Yo momma like a shotgun: one cock and she blows! + Yo momma like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her! + Yo momma like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck. + Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package! + Yo momma like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap! + Yo momma like potato chips: Fri - to Lay + Yo momma like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke! + Yo momma like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country! + Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. + Yo momma middle name is Rambo. + Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound. + Yo momma nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat! + Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers! + Yo momma rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. + Yo momma so bald even a wig wouldn't help! + Yo momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed. + Yo momma so bald you can see whats on her mind + Yo momma so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone. + Yo momma so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers. + Yo momma so dark she spits chocolate milk! + Yo momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent! + Yo momma so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal. + Yo momma so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater. + Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved! + Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side! + Yo momma so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas. + Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! + Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! + Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks! + Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! + Yo momma so fat her college graduation picture was an airial. + Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky! + Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! + Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN" + Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass + Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise + Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs. + Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out. + Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out + Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! + Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket. + Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. + Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon! + Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it! + Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" + Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car! + Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway + Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets + Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized + Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans! + Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! + Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors + Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets. + Yo momma so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway. + Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper! + Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl. + Yo momma so fat she influences the tides. + Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck. + Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy + Yo momma so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. + Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon! + Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller + Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller! + Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard. + Yo momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar! + Yo momma so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose. + Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in! + Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones. + Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles. + Yo momma so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please + Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon. + Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth + Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections! + Yo momma so fat she was baptised in the ocean. + Yo momma so fat she was baptized at Marine World. + Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world. + Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball! + Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone + Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. + Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code! + Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! + Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family! + Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views! + Yo momma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes. + Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse. + Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips! + Yo momma so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. + Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her + Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!! + Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her. + Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn" + Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures + Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out! + Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it. + Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping + Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet. + Yo momma so fat were in her right now + Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up + Yo momma so fat when she back up she beep. + Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too + Yo momma so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell! + Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips. + Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. + Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. + Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! + Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?" + Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions! + Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!! + Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! + Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... + Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights! + Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! + Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. + Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow! + Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" + Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th + Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!" + Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. + Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! + Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! + Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through + Yo momma so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her! + Yo momma so flat she's jealous of the wall! + Yo momma so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her + Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco! + Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! + Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture! + Yo momma so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan. + Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples! + Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth! + Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. + Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection. + Yo momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off + Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh! + Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach + Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. + Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left. + Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down. + Yo momma so nasty that her shit is glad to escape. + Yo momma so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh. + Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave + Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt + Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died. + Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything". + Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. + Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. + Yo momma so old her social security number is 1! + Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number! + Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. + Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. + Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks! + Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. + Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. + Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. + Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook! + Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch' + Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. + Yo momma so old when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch. + Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. + Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention! + Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut. + Yo momma so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers. + Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." + Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. + Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. + Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! + Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" + Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." + Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!! + Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. + Yo momma so short she can play handball on the curb. + Yo momma so short she does backflips under the bed. + Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. + Yo momma so short she models for trophys. + Yo momma so short she poses for trophies! + Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence! + Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. + Yo momma so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio + Yo momma so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared. + Yo momma so slutty I fucked her and I's a chick! + Yo momma so slutty she blind and seeing another man. + Yo momma so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball! + Yo momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley! + Yo momma so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive + Yo momma so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs" + Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change. + Yo momma so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times. + Yo momma so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt! + Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes! + Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911" + Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! + Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. + Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. + Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! + Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. + Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl + Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. + Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. + Yo momma so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind. + Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. + Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! + Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! + Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. + Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread. + Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! + Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterbacks a refund! + Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund. + Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. + Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read + Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. + Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. + Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. + Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. + Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. + Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. + Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind + Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. + Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. + Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! + Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics." + Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. + Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too." + Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." + Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends + Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. + Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! + Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon + Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! + Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! + Yo momma so tall she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth. + Yo momma so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida. + Yo momma so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon. + Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. + Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her! + Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life + Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! + Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! + Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her + Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. + Yo momma so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects! + Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck + Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." + Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween. + Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween! + Yo momma so ugly she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it! + Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. + Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry. + Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away. + Yo momma so stupid she decided to cross the river, got tired about halfway, and decided to turn around and swim back. + Yo momma so ugly she made a freight train take a dirt road. + Yo momma is soooo black, that when I shot her, the bullet came back and asked for a flashlight! + Yo momma is so Black...she can see her own reflection in an Oreo Cookie!! 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DC.Publisher: Lukas Tan DC.Contributor: DC.Date: 2003-11-23 DC.Type: Female Funnies DC.Format: text/html DC.Identifier: C:\Documents and Settings\Lukas\My Documents\Homepage\Humour\Female\Your-Momma.txt DC.Source: Your-Momma.swx DC.Language: en DC.Relation: txt.swt DC.Coverage: Global DC.Rights: Under Australian law, copyright of this document falls with it's publisher (Lukas Tan). However, all humour content is considered to have open copyright.