Funny Stuff - Food Funnies - Addicted to Coffee
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You know you're addicted to coffee when.....

+ You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
+ You sleep with your eyes open.
+ You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
+ The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
+ You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
+ You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
+ Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
+ You chew on other people's fingernails.
+ The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
+ You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
+ You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
+ You can jump-start your car without cables.
+ You don't sweat, you percolate.
+ You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
+ You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
+ You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
+ People get dizzy just watching you.
+ Instant coffee takes too long.
+ You channel surf faster without a remote.
+ You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
+ You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
+ You short out motion detectors.
+ You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
+ Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
+ You help your dog chase its tail.
+ You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
+ Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
+ You ski uphill.
+ You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
+ You answer the door before people knock.
+ You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.


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Last Modified
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Sunday 26 October, 2003 @ 19:46:12:31 EST


Metadata
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DC.Title: Funny Stuff - Food Funnies - Addicted to Coffee
DC.Creator: Starweb Document Generator V2.6
DC.Subject: Humour
DC.Description: A collection of humour pages collected and submitted from the internet.
DC.Publisher: Lukas Tan
DC.Contributor:
DC.Date: 2003-10-26
DC.Type: Food Funnies
DC.Format: text/html
DC.Identifier: C:\Documents and Settings\Lukas\My Documents\Homepage\Humour\Food\Coffee.txt
DC.Source: Coffee.swx
DC.Language: en
DC.Relation: txt.swt
DC.Coverage: Global
DC.Rights: Under Australian law, copyright of this document falls with it's publisher (Lukas Tan). However, all humour content is considered to have open copyright.