Sales and packaging jargon.

• NEW: Different colors from the previous version
• Loaded with new features: We decided to forgo beta testing on this puppy
• Includes an API for developers: It's there, but you have to figure out how to write a library to get to it
• Graphical User Interface: It'll scramble your display
• Improved Documentation: This time we told you how to install it
• Unlimited license: We don't give you ANY rights to it at all!
• Free updates: We're done with it - no more revisions!
• 800 number tech support: Which will be disconnected tomorrow
• $50 rebate offer: $50.00 when you demand a refund because it doesn't actually work
• Industry Leader: No one else had the guts to sell it at this price, but we know you'll be suckered
• Written with OOP in mind: That's what our programmers said, "oops!"
• Over 30,000 copies in use: We only sold 3, but we figure that many have been passed around
• In use over 5 years: It took us that long to get it working
• Rated "best buy" by __________: We pay a lot of money for expensive ads
• Fourth generation product: The first three were "stillborn"
• We listen to our users: We just don't do anything they request
• $495 list, no only $395: We just raised the price from $95
• Rated #1 by industry: My cousin Ernie drives a trash truck, and he likes it better than anything else
• Works with most video types: Just not yours
• Convenient On-Line support: We've found it very convenient to ignore messages there!
• 24-hour hotline: And boy, do they get hot when they discover we're absent 24 hours a day!