Definitions that Aren't in the Dictionary

• Father/Husband: A banker provided by nature.
• Rumor: News that travels at the speed of sound.
• Criminal: A guy no different from the rest of us except that he got caught.
• Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
• Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
• Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
• Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.
• Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
• Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
• Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
• Etc.: A sign used to make others believe that you know more than what you really do.
• Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
• Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.