Funny Stuff - Legal Funnies - McDonnell Douglass Warranty
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McDonnell Douglas AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES

	Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.


	Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.


	1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other


	First Name____________________Initial____Last Name________________________ Latitude________________________Longitude___________________________ Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________


	2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?


	_F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-19A Stealth _Classified


	3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________


	4. Serial Number____________________


	5. Please check where this product was purchased:


	_Received as Gift/Aid Package


	_Catalog Showroom


	_Sleazy Arms Broker


	_Mail Order


	_Discount Store


	_Government Surplus


	_Classified


	6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:


	_Heard loud noise, looked up


	_Store Display


	_Espionage


	_Recommended by friend/relative/ally


	_Political lobbying by Manufacturer


	_Was attacked by one


	7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:


	_Style/Appearance


	_Kickback/Bribe


	_Recommended by salesperson


	_Speed/Maneuverability


	_Comfort/Convenience


	_McDonnell Douglas Reputation


	_Advanced Weapons Systems


	_Price/Value


	_Back-Room Politics


	_Negative experience opposing one in combat


	8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:


	_North America


	_Central/South America


	_Aircraft Carrier


	_Europe


	_Middle East


	_Africa


	_Asia/Far East


	_Misc. Third-World Countries


	_Classified


	9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:


	Product ------------------------------ Own ---------------------------- Intend to purchase


	Colour TV


	VCR


	ICBM


	Killer Satellite


	CD Player


	Air-to-Air Missiles


	Space Shuttle


	Home Computer


	Nuclear Weapon


	10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:


	_Communist/Socialist


	_Terrorist


	_Crazed (Islamic)


	_Crazed (Other)


	_Neutral


	_Democratic


	_Dictatorship


	_Corrupt (Latin American)


	_Corrupt (Other)


	_Primitive/Tribal


	11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?


	_Cash


	_Suitcases of Cocaine


	_Oil Revenues


	_Deficit Spending


	_Personal Check


	_Credit Card


	_Ransom Money


	_Traveler's Check


	12. Occupation:


	Homemaker


	Sales/Marketing


	Revolutionary


	Clerical Mercenary


	Tyrant


	Middle Management


	Eccentric Billionaire


	Defense Minister/General Retired


	Student


	13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:


	Golf


	Boating/Sailing


	Sabotage


	Running/Jogging


	Propaganda/Disinformation


	Destabilizing/Overthrow


	Default on Loans


	Gardening


	Crafts


	Black Market/Smuggling


	Collectibles/Collections


	Watching Sports on TV


	Wines


	Interrogation/Torture


	Household Pets


	Crushing Rebellions


	Espionage/Reconnaissance


	Fashion Clothing


	Border Disputes


	Mutually Assured Destruction


	Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.


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Last Modified
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Sunday 26 October, 2003 @ 19:46:12:468 EST


Metadata
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DC.Title: Funny Stuff - Legal Funnies - McDonnell Douglass Warranty
DC.Creator: Starweb Document Generator V2.6
DC.Subject: Humour
DC.Description: A collection of humour pages collected and submitted from the internet.
DC.Publisher: Lukas Tan
DC.Contributor:
DC.Date: 2003-10-26
DC.Type: Legal Funnies
DC.Format: text/html
DC.Identifier: C:\Documents and Settings\Lukas\My Documents\Homepage\Humour\Legal\McDonnel-Douglass-Warranty.txt
DC.Source: McDonnel-Douglass-Warranty.swx
DC.Language: en
DC.Relation: txt.swt
DC.Coverage: Global
DC.Rights: Under Australian law, copyright of this document falls with it's publisher (Lukas Tan). However, all humour content is considered to have open copyright.