Her.....

0845 Wake up to hugs and kisses

0900 2kgs lighter on the scale

0930 Light breakfast

1100 Sunbathe

1230 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe

1345 Shopping

1430 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex - notice she's gained 10kgs

1500 Facial, massage, nap

1930 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing

2200 Make love

2330 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

Him.....

0645 Alarm

0700 Shower and massage

0730 Blowjob

0745 Massive dump while reading the sports section with large glass of fresh Orange juice, hot bacon and egg roll

0815 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys

0830 Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia

0930 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club

1100 Watch Sky Sports Live coverage of Australian Wallabies thrashing the Kiwis with 3 Heinekens

1145 Halftime - Blowjob

1150 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, lobster and 3 Heinekens while watching John Eales score a hat-trick of tries and kick 20 points.

1230 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club

1430 Limo to August Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martinis

1530 Nassau, Bahamas. Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Catch 150kg Barramundi. Grilled Barramundi and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.

1815 Blowjob

1830 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit

1930 Shit, shower, shave

2000 Watch CNN Live coverage of Greg Norman winning the green jacket at the Masters Golf Tournament

2100 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare) Gorgonzola salad, Fettuchini Alfredo, Chateau Lafit Rothschild '63 (magnum), creme brulee, Louis XIV Cognac, Cohiba Lancero.

2230 Sex with 3 women (minimum of two of mixed racial origin)

2330 Whirpool, steam and massage

0000 Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Sleep.