Funny Stuff - Male Funnies - Men and Women Compared ====================================================================== # NICKNAMES: If Emma, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Emma, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless. # EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in a $20, even though the bill is only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. # MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he really wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't really want. # BATHROOMS: A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items, and would be afraid to REALLY know what they are for. # ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. # FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. # SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. # MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. # DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings, funerals. # NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. # OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is aware some noisy little #$!@%'s are living in the house and eating all the good food. Navigation ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Prev page: Men V's Fizzy Drinks (Men-V-Fizzy-Drinks.txt) Next page: Men's Jargon (Mens-Jargon.txt) Menu page: Male Funnies Sub - Menu (Mainmenu.txt) Home page: Back to Funny Stuff Central (../Mainmenu.txt) Last Modified ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunday 26 October, 2003 @ 19:46:12:546 EST Metadata ---------------------------------------------------------------------- DC.Title: Funny Stuff - Male Funnies - Men and Women Compared DC.Creator: Starweb Document Generator V2.6 DC.Subject: Humour DC.Description: A collection of humour pages collected and submitted from the internet. DC.Publisher: Lukas Tan DC.Contributor: DC.Date: 2003-10-26 DC.Type: Male Funnies DC.Format: text/html DC.Identifier: C:\Documents and Settings\Lukas\My Documents\Homepage\Humour\Male\Men-and-Women-Compared.txt DC.Source: Men-and-Women-Compared.swx DC.Language: en DC.Relation: txt.swt DC.Coverage: Global DC.Rights: Under Australian law, copyright of this document falls with it's publisher (Lukas Tan). However, all humour content is considered to have open copyright.