ATTENTION: ALL MALE TAXPAYERS!

The only thing the receiver of revenue has not yet taxed is your ding-dong.

This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard-up, 20% of the time it is pissed off, and 10% of the time it is down in the dumps.

On top of this, it has 2 dependants and they are both nuts.

It has been decided therefore to tax you ding-dong according to size.

To determine your particular category, please insert the requested information (in triplicate) on page 2, chapter 4, section 13, sub-section 7, line 2, of your standard IRP5 tax form. As follows:

10 - 12 inches - luxury tax $50.00

8 - 10 inches - pole tax $45.00

6 - 8 inches - privilege tax $25-00

4 - 6 inches - nuisance tax $15-00

Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.

Anyone exceeding 12 inches must file under capital gain.

Please do not request an extension.