To the tune of "The Macarena" by Los Del Rios

Sitting in my house and I know that I'm alona,

Feeling kinda horny got a jingle in my bona,

Go and grab a Penthouse, it's the one with Sharon Stona!

Hey Masturbata!!!

I go a little faster and its feeling kinda nicea,

Once ain't quite enough so I have to do it twicea,

If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you good advicea,

Hey masturbata!!!

I use some baby oil or a little Vaselina,

Laying down a towel so I keep my carpet cleana,

Never shake my hand cause you don't know where its beena,

Hey masturbata!!!!

I do it in the car when I'm driving down the streeta,

One hand on the wheel and the other's on my meata,

I can't get out da car cause I'm sticking to the seata!

Hey masturbata!!!

Since l was a kid l have been a masturbata,

choke the chicken, bash the bishop, peel the thick potata

I've looked at Ms. November now I'm gonna decorata,

Hey Masturbata!!!

Buffing the banana, Mr. lizard he is now shakin',

Pounding on the flounder and its mayonnaise I'm makin'

Spank the plank, wax the carrot, oh my god my hand is aching!

Hey Masturbata!!!

(Repeat as desired!!!)