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- If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
- A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
- Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
- It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
- After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
- The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
- You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
- When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
- If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
- There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
- Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
- Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
- Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
- To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
- Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
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