Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor dear is several sandwiches short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her eccentric behaviour, and some of them even join in the fun.

One day Ethel is speeding along one of the corridors when a man steps out of one of the doorways with his arm outstretched: "Stop!" he says firmly, "Have you got a licence for that thing?" Ethel fishes around in her handbag and pulls out a Kit-Kat wrapper, which she hands to him with a big smile. "OK," he says, and off she goes again.

Taking the corner by the TV lounge on one wheel as usual, she finds another man standing in the corridor in front of her. "Stop! Have you got a valid tax disc for that vehicle, madam?"

Ethel digs into her handbag again and comes up with a well-used beermat, which she presents for inspection, whereupon she is sent on her way once more.

Heading down the last corridor before the front door, a third man steps out in front of her. He is stark naked, and holding a sizeable erection in one hand. "Oh no," cries Ethel, "Not the breathalyser again!"