Funny Stuff - Snippets - Simpsons Blackboard Bits ====================================================================== + I will not carve gods. + I will not spank others. + I will not aim for the head. + I will not barf unless I'm sick + I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. + I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge. + I will not conduct my own fire drills. + Funny noises are not funny. + I will not snap bras. + I will not fake seizures. + This punishment is not boring and pointless. + My name is not Dr. Death. + I will not defame New Orleans. + I will not prescribe medication. + I will not bury the new kid. + I will not teach others to fly. + I will not bring sheep to class. + A burp is not an answer. + Teacher is not a leper. + Coffee is not for kids. + I will not eat things for money. + I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call. + The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee. + I will not call the principal "spud head". + Goldfish don't bounce. + Mud is not one of the 4 food groups. + No one is interested in my underpants. + I will not sell miracle cures. + I will return the seeing-eye dog. + I do not have diplomatic immunity. + I will not charge admission to the bathroom. + I will never win an emmy. + The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy. + All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy. + I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause. + I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers. + My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man. + I will not go near the kindergarten turtle. + I am not deliciously saucy. + Organ transplants are best left to professionals. + The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan". + I will not celebrate meaningless milestones. + There are plenty of businesses like show business. + Five days is not too long to wait for a gun. + I will not waste chalk. + I will not skateboard in the halls. + I will not instigate revolution. + I will not draw naked ladies in class. + I did not see Elvis. + I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes". + Garlic gum is not funny. + They are laughing at me, not with me. + I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom. + I will not encourage others to fly. + I will not fake my way through life. + Tar is not a plaything. + I will not Xerox my butt. + It's potato, not potatoe. + I will not trade pants with others. + I am not a 32 year old woman. + I will not do that thing with my tongue. + I will not drive the principal's car. + I will not pledge allegiance to Bart. + I will not sell school property. + I will not burp in class. + I will not cut corners. + I will not get very far with this attitude. + I will not belch the National Anthem. + I will not sell land in Florida. + I will not grease the monkey bars. + I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment. + I will not do anything bad ever again. + I will not show off. + I will not sleep through my education. + I am not a dentist. + Spitwads are not free speech. + Nobody likes sunburn slappers. + High explosives and school don't mix. + I will not bribe Principal Skinner. + I will not squeak chalk. + I will finish what I sta + "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender. + Underwear should be worn on the inside. + The Christmas Pageant does not stink. + I will not torment the emotionally frail. Navigation ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Prev page: More Sayings (Sayings.txt) Next page: Sports Commentators Quotes (Sports-Commentators-Quotes.txt) Menu page: Snippets Sub - Menu (Mainmenu.txt) Home page: Back to Funny Stuff Central (../Mainmenu.txt) Last Modified ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunday 26 October, 2003 @ 19:46:13:421 EST Metadata ---------------------------------------------------------------------- DC.Title: Funny Stuff - Snippets - Simpsons Blackboard Bits DC.Creator: Starweb Document Generator V2.6 DC.Subject: Humour DC.Description: A collection of humour pages collected and submitted from the internet. DC.Publisher: Lukas Tan DC.Contributor: DC.Date: 2003-10-26 DC.Type: Snippets DC.Format: text/html DC.Identifier: C:\Documents and Settings\Lukas\My Documents\Homepage\Humour\Snippets\Simpsons-Blackboard-Bits.txt DC.Source: Simpsons-Blackboard-Bits.swx DC.Language: en DC.Relation: txt.swt DC.Coverage: Global DC.Rights: Under Australian law, copyright of this document falls with it's publisher (Lukas Tan). However, all humour content is considered to have open copyright.