I'd love to, but.....

• I have to floss my cat.
• I've dedicated my life to linguini.
• I want to spend more time with my blender.
• The President said he might drop in.
• The man on television told me to say tuned.
• I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
• I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
• It's my parakeet's bowling night.
• It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
• I'm building a pig from a kit.
• I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
• I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
• There's a disturbance in the Force.
• I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
• I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
• I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
• I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
• I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.
• I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
• My crayons all melted together.
• I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
• I'm in training to be a household pest.
• I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
• My patent is pending.
• I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
• I'm sandblasting my oven.
• I'm worried about my vertical hold.
• I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
• I'm being deported.
• The grunion are running.
• I'll be looking for a parking space.
• My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
• The monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
• I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
• I have to fluff my shower cap.
• I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
• I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
• I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
• My plot to take over the world is thickening.
• I have to fulfill my potential.
• I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
• It's too close to the turn of the century.
• I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
• My subconscious says no.
• I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
• I left my body in my other clothes.
• The last time I went, I never came back.
• I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
• I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
• None of my socks match.
• I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
• I'm having all my plants neutered.
• People are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
• I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
• I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."
• I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
• My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
• I'm touring China with a wok band.
• My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
• I never go out on days that end in "Y."
• My mother would never let me hear the end of it.
• I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.
• I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down.
• I'm too old/young for that stuff.
• I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
• I have too much guilt.
• There are important world issues that need worrying about.
• I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
• I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
• I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
• I feel a song coming on.
• I'm trying to be less popular.
• My bathroom tiles need grouting.
• I have to bleach my hare.
• I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
• I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
• You know how we psychos are.
• My favorite commercial is on TV.
• I have to study for a blood test.
• I'm going to be old someday.
• I've been traded to Cincinnati.
• I'm observing National Apathy Week.
• I have to rotate my crops.
• My uncle escaped again.
• I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
• I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
• I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
• I have to go to court for kitty littering.
• I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
• I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
• Having fun gives me prickly heat.
• I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
• I have to jog my memory.
• My palm reader advised against it.
• My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
• I have to stay home and see if I snore.
• I prefer to remain an enigma.
• I think you want the OTHER (your name).
• I have to sit up with a sick ant.
• I'm trying to cut down.
• ... well, maybe.