Dear Abby,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby,

I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby,

I am a twenty three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,

I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby,

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,

I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby,

My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,

I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby,

Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he did it.

Dear Abby,

My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

Dear Abby,

You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.

Dear Abby,

My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he'd like?

- Carol

Dear Carol,

Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.

Dear Abby,

Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early?

- Wondering

Dear Wondering,

The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.

Dear Abby,

I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy three and he's still chasing women. Any suggestions?

- Annie

Dear Annie,

Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.

Dear Abby,

I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?

- Sam

Dear Sam,

Yes. Run for public office.

Dear Abby,

What inspires you most to write?

- Ted

Dear Ted,

The Bureau of Internal Revenue.

Dear Abby,

I am forty four years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits.

- Rose

Dear Rose,

So would I.

Dear Abby,

What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

- Bess

Dear Bess,

Night and day.