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- Never trust a dog to watch your food.
- When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
- Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Stay away from prunes.
- Never pee on an electric fence.
- Don't squat with your spurs on.
- Don't pull dad's finger when he tell you to.
- When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- Never allow your three year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
- Don't sneeze in front of your mom when you're eating crackers.
- Puppies still have bad breath after eating tic tac.
- Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
- If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
- Felt markers are not good to use as lipsticks.
- Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
- When you get a bad grade in school, show it it your mom when she's on the phone.
- Never try to baptise a cat.
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