Things Not to Say to a Police Officer
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  • I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
  • Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
  • Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
  • Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
  • Are You Andy or Barney?
  • I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
  • You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
  • I pay your salary!
  • Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
  • Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
  • I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
  • When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
  • "Ossifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God"
  • When the officer begins his spiel, turn the volume up and claim that you love the song on the radio.

Last modified: Saturday 24 July, 2004 @ 12:38:33:546 EST